Split-Ends

Deepika Padukone is the next big thing in the country and several gentlemen want to have a link-up with this long legged beauty and the latest of the lot is our Indian Cricket Captain, MS Dhoni. In fact more than he expressing his desire to be with this beauty, our media has taken up all the pain to unite this couple. The scene is such that every channel is keeping a close watch on their activities. It was the occasion of the T20 match at the Braboune Stadium in Mumbai and it was reported that Mahi has requested Deepika to be present at the match.

Deepika did turn up for the match with SRK, who had come with his family for the game.

Scene 1:

Cam on Deepika, She is smiling...The news waalah’s …comment “Yeh Smile kis ke liya tha…aap SMS ke zariye zaroor bataiyee…”

Aapke options hain….

1. MS Dhoni
2. She remembers a Joke
3. British Bull Dog, who cares…!

Scene 2:

India require 5 to win the match, MSD on strike and Brett Lee charges ,bowls a long-hop which MSD pulls it over the square-leg fence for a Six. India Win…..But another interesting question by our media….”Yeh Chakah kis ke liye tha….aap SMS karke zaroor bataiyee….” Here we go again….WTF is happening is beyond my imagination.

This is actually is period of break-ups which further leads to many more link-ups…

It was Bipasha’s alleged break up with John because of the Manchester United winger doing something naughty....

As the split was confirmed…and Ronaldo who I thought would have had better options available, Bips might have felt she needs a superstar and hence went into hunt and found Mr.Saif Ali Khan, the most eligible of the current lot, although not reliable. It was reported that these two have started dating and in the meanwhile John was linked with Vidya Balan, but then Vidya always maintained that they were just “good-friends” and it was reported in media that Mr. Not Dependable (Saif) was now interested in the Kapoor babe, I mean Shahid’s chick…because Shahid was getting too close to Vidya and was not anymore interested in Kareena.

Now it is confirmed that Saif and Kareena are dating and are very much together. Why has Kareena fallen for Saif, whose track record of his past relationships has not been that impressive. I guess she would have compared the hit rates of Jr.Patudi and Shahid and I believe Saif is far more saleable in the industry than the Shahid-the kid. If that’s what Kareena is looking out for then …all the best to her and her new association

Now things are a bit clear…as of now Shahid is with Vidya, Saif is with Kareena and Bips is back with John…uff what confusion.

What would happen to our cricket captain…time and of course the polls would tell.

-GAG

Touch Kiyeejaa...

Another season and yet another series of salsa, disco, rumba, tango etc…on the idiot box and in addition to all these we have these non-dancers begging for our SMS . I really don't believe if any sane person would send those SMS's (barring the family of the contestants). Can't really comment on the Morons and Jerk community. So, I in actual fact don't know how these programs do last seasons after season.

One more thing which absolutely baffles me is the fact that what do these channels achieve in making these TV actors (non) dance and compete against themselves? First of all it's difficult to handle them in these f*** all serials and then to see them again for three hours on a weekend is an absolute scare…I envy people who are not forced to watch these morons.

Some contestants are tolerable just for the sake of the entertainment they provide, would like to mention Cyrus Broacha(who does disco in a cow-boy outfit) in this league but in general most of these competitors are very non-talented, most of them unquestionably have two left feet.

Cyrus doing what he doesn’t do best

The audiences, absolutely glued to the TV watching the incapable TV artiste compete against each other. I would like to also mention the fact that these shows do not showcase any talent, its just a bit of skin show which goes on...On prime time and on family channels.

There was this episode in one of the shows, the theme being Touch, where the couples were told to be in-touch with each other through out their act. I don't believe the amount of obscenity that was on display and parents have no other option (of their own will) to watch any thing else or some rather do not intend to watch any thing else.

Some of the jerks are like...I mean what do I say?

There is this Pooja Bedi (D/O, Kabir Bedi), who comes along with a guy (her partner) who looks and is half her age…and the judges (another set of three morons) talk about the chemistry between them is absolutely marvelous and that kind of bull-shit…Pooja would be saying to her self it is not the chemistry that attracts us…its for the biological reasons we are together….

Then of course how can we have a show with out the most beautiful eunuch (probably not...Bobby Darling might be in contention for that, for people who don't know him/her ...Please visit www.google.com ) in the country Rakhi Sawant….and her partner…gosh! How does that dude tolerate her, he should be awarded for that.

Some decent performers being Sudha Chandran, who gets accolades for all her performances, one mention of Mika (bro or Daler Mehndi) who I believe speaks his mind irrespective of the consequences. He openly says I cannot dance on the f*** all tunes, play me bhangra and then see me in my rhythm.

One mention of one of the judge, who has been a choreographer in bollywood and must have lived in Mumbai for years wants the audience to believe that he can not speak Hindi and feels prod of it.

Can say these crappy shows are by the cleverest for the jerks and performed by a few retard morons

-GAG